Saturday, July 16, 2011

Tagalog Banat Jokes | Quotes | Stories #05

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"Kung ikaw ang may KATWIRAN,
Asahan ang KATARUNGAN!" :)
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Bata: Mam, ang utot ga po ay nabukol?
Guro: Ay hinde eh.. Hangin lang ang utot. Hindi siya nabukol.
Bata: Ay sya Mam! Tae na ho areh!
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Holdaper: Holdap toh!
Girl: So? Walang nagtatanong!!
Holdaper: Holdap nga toh!
Girl: Kailangan pagsigawan?? PROUD??
Holdaper: Holdap sabi eh! Holdap nga! Holdap!!
Girl: Paulet-ulet?? Unli tayo Kuya??
Holdaper: Pag hindi ka tumigil papatayin kita!
Girl: Weeeeeehh? Holdap naging patayan? Ano toh? 2 in 1??
Holdaper: Leche! Makaalis na nga!!
Girl: Ay.. Nag-walk-out?? Best actor ka Kuya! :)
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Boy: MAHAL KITAH!
Girl: Ibaling mo na lang sa iba ang nararamdaman mo para sa akin!
Boy: Anlaaah!! Kababaling laang eh, babaling na naman??

Nagpabaling-baling na!
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Ang love, parang Coffee.
Pag nasobrahan sa granules, pumapait!

Lesson: Don't give too much. Para sa huli, di ka bitter. :)
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ANG MATIPID NA MISIS

Mrs. Tanoy is very kuripot. When her husband died,
she inquired with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary.

The ad taker said, "300 pesos for five words."
Mrs. Tanoy said, "Pede ba two words na lang? Tanoy dead."
Ad taker said, "No Mam, five words is the minimum."

After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said,
"OK, para sulit.. Ilagay mo... TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE!"

Yan ang matipid na Misis! :)
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Mara: I'm cooler than you, Clara.
Clara: So, that makes me HOTTER than you, Mara?
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