Funny Stories #2

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An old country farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully.
From morning 'till night she was always complaining about something.
The only time he got any relief was when he was out ploughing with
his old mule. He tried to plough a lot. One day, when he was out ploughing,
his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade,
sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately,
his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag.
It went on and on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her
smack in the back of the head. Killed her... dead on the spot!

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather
odd. When a woman mourner approached the old farmer, he would
listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner
approached the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head
in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the
old farmer all about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the
old farmer, and asked why he nodded his head and agreed with the
women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all of the men.

The old farmer said, 'Well, the women would come up and say something
about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I nod
my head in agreement.'

'And what about the men?' the minister asked.

Farmer replied, 'They wanted to know if the mule was for sale!!'
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Funny Stories #1

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There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly
before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma.
Her husband was away on business and unable to be reached.
While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only
person around to name her children was her brother.

When the mother came out of her coma to find that she had given birth
and that her brother had named the twins, she became worried because
he wasn't a very bright guy. She was sure he had named them
something absurd or stupid.

When she saw her brother she asked him about the twins.

He said, "The first one was a girl."
The mother: What did you name her?
Brother: Denise!
The mother: Oh, wow! That's not bad! What about the second one?
Brother: The secon one was a boy.
The mother: Oh, and what did you name him?
Brother: Denephew!!
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