Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #18

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Bush: What are the pollutants in your country?
Jingoy: We have lots of pollutants. We have sisig, kilawin,
chicharon, mani.
Erap: Anak, may nakalimutan ka, Boy Bawang (kornik).
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Rodrigo: Bakit badtrip ka?
Mario: Nagtampo kasi sa akin ang utol ko.
Rodrigo: Bakit naman?
Mario: Nakalimutan ko kasi ang birthday n'ya.
Rodrigo: 'Yun lang? Ano'ng masama ro'n?
Mario: Ang masama ro'n... twins kami! TWINS!
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Sa loob ng isang classroom...

Teacher: Class.. What is ETHICS?
Pedro: Ma'm, Etiks are smaller than ducks!
Teacher: That duck will lay an egg in your card!
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Famous Quotes #3

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Music, the greatest good that mortals know,
And all of heaven we have below.
- Joseph Addison
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Music exalts each joy, allays each grief,
Expels diseases, softens every pain,
Subdues the rage of poison and the plague.
- John Armstrong
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Music is well said to be the speech of angels.
- Thomas Carlyle
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Famous Quotes #2

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The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
- Bishop W. C. Magee
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To err is human, to forgive is divine.
- Alexander Pope
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The wise course is to profit from the mistakes of others.
- Terence
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It is the nature of every man to err,
but only the fool perseveres in error.
- Cicero
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Famous Quotes #1

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It is easy to become generous with other people's property.
-Latin proverb
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The most important thing in any relationship is not what you
get but what you give... In any case, the giving of love is an education
in itself.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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You must be fit to give before you can be fit to receive.
- James Stephens
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #17

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Misis: Hon, delayed ako... pero h'wag mo muna ipagsasabi.
Nahihiya ako...
Mister: Okey.

Kinabukasan, dumating ang mga taga-Meralco.

Taga-Meralco: Misis, delayed po kayo ng one month.
Misis: Ha? Bakit mo alam?
Taga-Meralco: Nasa record po.
Mister: Bakit nagka-record d'yan ang Misis ko?
Taga-Meralco: Kung gusto n'yo mawala sa record, magbayad kayo!
Mister: Eh, kung ayoko magbayad?
Taga-Meralco: Puputulan ho kau.
Mister: Ha?! Eh ano nang gagamitin ni Misis??
Taga-Meralco: Pwede naman ho s'yang gumamit ng kandila!!
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Funny Jokes #1

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POLICEMAN ARRESTING A PROSTITUTE

Prosti: I am not selling sex.
Police: Then, what are you doing?
Prosti: I'm a saleswoman selling condoms with free demo.
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Godly Quotes #04

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Did you know that...

When you carry the Bible,
Satan has a headache.

When you open it,
he collapses,

When he sees you reading it,
he faints.

Let's read the bible everyday.
So he will keep on fainting.
Maybe one day he'll have a stroke and
never wake-up.
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