Quotes About Life #01

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As long as there are those who are willing to shed blood
and take innocent life in the name of religion - in the
name of God - the world will never know a true and lasting peace.
- Secretary of State Hillary Clinton
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English Love Quotes #06

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There are no such thing as "goodbye".

For wherever you may be, you will always be with me, (right here, inside my heart).

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Relationships survive when you both make each other a priority instead of an option.

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Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' garden.

~Douglas Jerrold~

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Inspirational Quotes #18

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If you want to make your dreams come true,

the first thing you have to do is wake up.

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The greatest mistake you can make in life is

to continually be afraid you will make one.

~Elbert Hubbard~

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The best thing to learn in life is the habit of adjustment.

Because it's better to bend a little, than to break a loving relationship.

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Tagalog Love Quotes #12

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Huwag mong ipagpalit yung matagal na pinagsamahan nyo
ng taong mahal mo sa maikling sandali ng kaligayahan..
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Tagalog Love Quotes #12

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Huwag mong ipagpalit yung matagal na pinagsamahan nyo
ng taong mahal mo sa maikling sandali ng kaligayahan..
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #28

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Suspect: Anong gagawin ko attorney, kinasuhan ako ng rape?
Atty: Ah, madali lang yan... pasobrahan mo lang ang istorya.

Judge: Anong ginawa mo sa babae?
Suspect: nag 69 kami, naghelicopter, nag dog-style at marami pa your honor!

Babae: (sumisigaw), DI TOTOO YAN YOUR HONOR!

Judge: Case dismissed! Di pala totoo eh!
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may dalawang magshotang naglalakad sa park...

boy: bhe, may itatanong ako sayo...
gurl:ano yun?
boy:ano ang saging na mataba?
girl:edi saba
boy: aba ang galing...
boy:ano naman ang saging na may balat, isinusubo at nagsisimula sa letter "T"
gurl: yuck! ang bastos mo!
boy:sus di mo masabi ung sagot mo at tsaka hindi nman bastos yun
girl:ano ba ung sagot?
boy: edi TURON!!!!!!
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Inspirational Quotes #17

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Give THANKS to what you are now and
KEEP FIGHTING to what you want to be tomorrow.
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Don't think too much.
You'll create a problem that wasn't even there.
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #27

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'Wag kang pumikit habang nasasaktan ka,
imulat mo mata mo para matauhan ka.
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Ang tunay na lalaki, tinitingnan ang puso,
hindi ang itsura.
At minamahal ang ugali,
hindi ang mukha.
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Tagalog Sad Quotes #4

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Wag mong hanapin ang katangian ng DATI MONG MINAHAL
sa taong gusto mong MAHALiN NGAYON,.
dahil walang taong magkatulad,at lalong walang
LOVE STORY NA MAGKAPAREHAS.
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Hnd mo nmn kc dapat paasahin ang sarili mo
sa mga bagay n imposible at malabo. :<
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #26

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Ang selos, walang pinipiling mukha, aminin mo, kahit mukhang paa,

pag pinansin nya selos ka.
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Kung magiging OTHER WOMAN ka,
siguraduhin mong mas maganda ka,

Kung si ANNE CURTIS nga hindi umubra,
IKAW PA kaya?
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Love and Friendship Quotes #03

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I want a chill relationship where we act as friends,
but boyfriend/girlfriend at the moments we need to.
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I'm not popular, but I have nice friends.
I'm not rich, but I have what I need.
I may not be liked, but I know I am loved.
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Inspirational Quotes #16

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A wise man is superior to any insults which can put upon him,
and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.
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Nothing lasts forever they say, but that shouldn't be an excuse
to appreciate things less. We're too afraid to miss something when
it goes, we end up letting good things pass us by. It's not about the future,
it's about now, if you miss it if it ever leaves then that just dictates
that you had something good.
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Inspirational Quotes #15

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Faith is the substance of things hoped for.
Hope has no substance; it is only a goal-setter.
Faith works in the heart; hope works in the head.
The heart produces that which the goal is set on.
Set your goal on the solution, not the problem.
Learn the language of success and practice it.
Dial your goal setter to prosperity and success,
then keep it there!
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #25

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Bakit hindi gawing herbal medicine ang "makahiya"?


Para magkaroon ng lunas ang mga taong "makakapal ang mukha"!

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Ang love ay parang paghahanap ng dulo ng scoth tape,
'Di mo makikita kung and'yan na ba, basta mararamdaman
mo na lang. :D
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Godly Quotes #06

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Today, God's message for you is to never regret or dwell
on yesterday's mistakes or decisions. They are a part of the
learning curve that is called life. The greatest gift you can give
yourself is to start each day a new taking what you have learned
from yesterday, putting it to good use today, and bettering yourself
and your life with it tomorrow.
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Tagalog Sad Quotes #3

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Dumarating talaga dun sa puntong,

Ikaw na lang 'yung nauunang magtext,
ikaw na lang lagi 'yung nag-aantay,
ikaw na lang lagi 'yung umiintindi,
ikaw na lang lagi 'yung nag-iisip kung papaano s'ya sasaya,
ikaw na lang 'yung nag-eeffort.
Dumarating 'yung puntong ikaw na lang sa inyong dalawa 'yung nagmamahal.
Ikaw nalang 'yung umaako ng lahat.

Ikaw na lang 'yung kumakapit, habang s'ya... bumibitaw na. :(
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Inspirational Quotes #14

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Every successful person has a painful story and beautiful ending.
No one can go back and change a bad beginning but anyone
can start and create a wonderful ending. Life maybe tough and
difficult, but the value we gain from trials make it all worth
the journey.
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You don't need someone to complete you.
You only need someone who can accept you COMPLETELY. :)
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Always remember that the most beautiful curve in your body is your SMILE. :)
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Inspirational Quotes #13

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Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right,
forget about the ones who don't. Believe that everything
happens for a reason. Know a good thing when you
see it and don't let it slip away. If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy,
they just said it would be worth it.
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #24

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Alam mo 'yung sweet?

'YUNG HINDI KAYO PERO ALAGA N'YO ISA'T ISA.

'YUNG NAGHIHINTAYAN KAYO HANGGANG MAGING PWEDE NA.

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Sana Blackberry kita para matawag kitang BB ko.

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Sana ikaw na lang ang MAMA at PAPA ko.

MAMAhalin at PAPAkasalan.

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Pahiram nga ng PUSO mo!

Ipanghihilod ko lang...

BATO eh!

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English Love Quotes #05

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Feelings and emotions change..

It doesn't mean that if you don't feel something for 

each other anymore, the love is gone.

If love were only feelings, there's no such thing as lasting.

Love can sometimes turn numb or even be boring.

You just have to be patient 'coz love itself is life.

Not all the time you are in for all it's happiness,

sometimes, you also have to give in to its bitterness.

But, no matter what, as long as you choose and decide

to continue, it will be more beautiful. ♥
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Inspirational Quotes #12

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You will never know

if you don't keep trying,

the next time maybe your time to succeed.

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Letting go of negative people

doesn't mean that you hate them.

It just means that you love yourself.

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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #23

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Kung legal lang magsunog ng plastic na tao,

for sure polluted na ang mundo.

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Porket single malungkot na?

Bakit? Lahat ba ng taken masaya?

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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #22

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Hindi ka dapat mahalin ng iba

dahil ayon sa aklat ng propesiya,

ikaw at ako ay para sa isa't isa.

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Gaano man kayo kalayo sa isa't isa,

ang mahalaga ang puso n'yo ay laging magkakonekta.

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Tagalog Sad Quotes #2

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Mas mabuting hindi siya maging sa'yo sa panahong gusto mo.

Kesa maging iyo pero wala namang panahon sa'yo.

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Huwag kang malungkot kung ibang tao ang pinili n'ya at

hindi ikaw. 

Tandaan mo, hindi mo makukumbinsi ang isang unggoy

na ang honey ay mas matamis kesa sa saging.

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Alam mo 'yung mas mahirap?

'Yung hindi ka na nga gusto ng taong mahal mo,

at ikaw nagpapanggap na wala lang sa 'yo.

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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #21

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NOON: Hindi lahat  ng magsyota naghahalikan.
.
.
.
.
.
.
NGAYON: Hindi lahat ng naghahalikan magsyota.
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Tagalog Love Quotes #11

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Ang pag-ibig parang ulan. Minsan dahan-dahan, 
minsan mabilis. At higit sa lahat, kaya mong maramdaman,
pero hindi mo kayang pigilan.
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Godly Quotes #05

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God never takes away from us without giving us
something BETTER. When you pray, don't BEG...
Simply BELIEVE. That's how FAITH works
as they say "everything happens for a reason".
TRUST HIM. 
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #20

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Kailangan pa ba lagyan ng speaker ang puso ko,
para lang malaman mo na ikaw ang isinisigaw nito.
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Mag-ingat sa taong parang Tetris! 'Yung patong lang
nang patong para makabuo. At pag nakabuo na, 
bigla na lang nawawala.
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Tagalog Sad Quotes #1

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Ang taong nasasaktan, dalwa lang ang dahilan.


Una, nagpapakatanga sa pananakit ng iba.
Pangalawa, inaasahan ang isang bagay na wala naman talaga.
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #19

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'Di lahat ng daan nakapangalan sa'yo. 
'Yung iba, isang daan, dalwang daan, limang daan... LOL
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Kung totoo at mahal n'yo ang isa't isa, mananatili kayong magkasama, 
kahit na madaming umeeksena. :)
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ANG TUNAY NA BOSS


GF: Uminom ka na naman??
BF: Bakit ba?
GF: Umuwi ka na!
BF: Alam mo, hindi sa lahat ng oras kelangan mo 'kong pigilan.
Hindi mo 'ko alipin, susunod na lang sa lahat ng sabihin mo. 
Ayoko umuwi!
GF: Ah, ganon? Sige, break na tayo!
BF: Sige.
GF: Anong sige?
BF: Sige, uuwi na ako.


Hahaha!
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Funny Stories #2

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An old country farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully.
From morning 'till night she was always complaining about something.
The only time he got any relief was when he was out ploughing with
his old mule. He tried to plough a lot. One day, when he was out ploughing,
his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade,
sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately,
his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag.
It went on and on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her
smack in the back of the head. Killed her... dead on the spot!

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather
odd. When a woman mourner approached the old farmer, he would
listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner
approached the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head
in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the
old farmer all about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the
old farmer, and asked why he nodded his head and agreed with the
women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all of the men.

The old farmer said, 'Well, the women would come up and say something
about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I nod
my head in agreement.'

'And what about the men?' the minister asked.

Farmer replied, 'They wanted to know if the mule was for sale!!'
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Funny Stories #1

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There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly
before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma.
Her husband was away on business and unable to be reached.
While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only
person around to name her children was her brother.

When the mother came out of her coma to find that she had given birth
and that her brother had named the twins, she became worried because
he wasn't a very bright guy. She was sure he had named them
something absurd or stupid.

When she saw her brother she asked him about the twins.

He said, "The first one was a girl."
The mother: What did you name her?
Brother: Denise!
The mother: Oh, wow! That's not bad! What about the second one?
Brother: The secon one was a boy.
The mother: Oh, and what did you name him?
Brother: Denephew!!
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Funny Jokes #2

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BEING THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year old boy,
"So your mother says your prayers for you each night?
That's very commendable.
What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
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DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked,
"Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing
when he was on the Ark?"
"No", replied Johnny. "How could he with just two worms?"
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #18

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Bush: What are the pollutants in your country?
Jingoy: We have lots of pollutants. We have sisig, kilawin,
chicharon, mani.
Erap: Anak, may nakalimutan ka, Boy Bawang (kornik).
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Rodrigo: Bakit badtrip ka?
Mario: Nagtampo kasi sa akin ang utol ko.
Rodrigo: Bakit naman?
Mario: Nakalimutan ko kasi ang birthday n'ya.
Rodrigo: 'Yun lang? Ano'ng masama ro'n?
Mario: Ang masama ro'n... twins kami! TWINS!
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Sa loob ng isang classroom...

Teacher: Class.. What is ETHICS?
Pedro: Ma'm, Etiks are smaller than ducks!
Teacher: That duck will lay an egg in your card!
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Famous Quotes #3

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Music, the greatest good that mortals know,
And all of heaven we have below.
- Joseph Addison
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Music exalts each joy, allays each grief,
Expels diseases, softens every pain,
Subdues the rage of poison and the plague.
- John Armstrong
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Music is well said to be the speech of angels.
- Thomas Carlyle
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Famous Quotes #2

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The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
- Bishop W. C. Magee
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To err is human, to forgive is divine.
- Alexander Pope
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The wise course is to profit from the mistakes of others.
- Terence
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It is the nature of every man to err,
but only the fool perseveres in error.
- Cicero
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Famous Quotes #1

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It is easy to become generous with other people's property.
-Latin proverb
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The most important thing in any relationship is not what you
get but what you give... In any case, the giving of love is an education
in itself.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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You must be fit to give before you can be fit to receive.
- James Stephens
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #17

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Misis: Hon, delayed ako... pero h'wag mo muna ipagsasabi.
Nahihiya ako...
Mister: Okey.

Kinabukasan, dumating ang mga taga-Meralco.

Taga-Meralco: Misis, delayed po kayo ng one month.
Misis: Ha? Bakit mo alam?
Taga-Meralco: Nasa record po.
Mister: Bakit nagka-record d'yan ang Misis ko?
Taga-Meralco: Kung gusto n'yo mawala sa record, magbayad kayo!
Mister: Eh, kung ayoko magbayad?
Taga-Meralco: Puputulan ho kau.
Mister: Ha?! Eh ano nang gagamitin ni Misis??
Taga-Meralco: Pwede naman ho s'yang gumamit ng kandila!!
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Funny Jokes #1

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POLICEMAN ARRESTING A PROSTITUTE

Prosti: I am not selling sex.
Police: Then, what are you doing?
Prosti: I'm a saleswoman selling condoms with free demo.
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Godly Quotes #04

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Did you know that...

When you carry the Bible,
Satan has a headache.

When you open it,
he collapses,

When he sees you reading it,
he faints.

Let's read the bible everyday.
So he will keep on fainting.
Maybe one day he'll have a stroke and
never wake-up.
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #16

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Bobo: Pare, hulaan mo ang ugali ko, nagsisimula sa letter A.
Pare: Approachable?
Bobo: Mali!
Pare: Amiable?
Bobo: Mali pa rin!!
Pare: O sige, sirit na nga!
Bobo: Anest!
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Popoy: Pare, ano bang ibig sabihin ng H2O at CO2?? Patulong naman, oh...
Joseph: D'yos ko naman!!! Hindi mo ba alam 'yun?
Ang H2O ay water! At ang CO2.... cold water.

=))
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #15

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Tindero: Hoy! Bili ka gatas ng baka. P10 lang isang baso.
MAnong: Ang mahal naman, may tig-piso lang ba n'yan?
Tindero: Meron po, pero kayo na po ang dumede sa baka. :))
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Pasyente: Dok, bakit po ganito ang operasyon sa ulo ko?
Halos kita na ang utak ko.
Doctor: Ok lang yan. Yan ang tinatawag na open-minded!
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Anak: Itay, nagpapatanong si Ma'm kung ano raw ang propesyon mo.
Itay: Sabihin mo, cardiologist.
Anak: Ano po ba 'yung cardiologist 'Tay?
Itay: 'Yung taga-ayos ng radio sa car!!
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Umuwi si Mister nang 4:00am at nakita n'ya ang kanyang Misis
na may katalik na lalaki sa kama....

Misis: (sumigaw) SAAN KA GALING?!
Mister: Sino 'yang katabi mo?
Misis: Grabe ka!!!! 'Wag mong ibahin ang usapan!!!
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Chain Messages #04

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What do you do after waking up?
Praying? Or reading the text on your phone?

What do you do b4 sleeping?
Praying? Or putting ur phone beside your pillow?

What do you do after receiving a blessing?
Praying and thanking GOD? Or texting your friends tellin' them that u're hapi?

Though shall NOT forget GOD all the time.
It's a challenge for all of us to seek GOD 1st in our daily lives!

"Tinamaan ako!"
But I'd rather spread this message!
good morning!
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Godly Quotes #02

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A morning smile will recharge you with
tireless energy to go thru out the day.
Let GOD's providence be a reminder that
HE prepared the best for you today.

GOOD MORNING!
Take care.
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Nights are the best time to be peaceful...
To ponder on things, to appreciate life,
to plan your day and to thank God for everything!

Have a good night rest!
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Everyday brings new chances to grow,
new beauty to see, new plans to do and goals to pursue.
Every new day is a step towards your dream,
a pleasant new day to you!
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You don't need to know where you are going
if you know GOD is leading.
Good eve!
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My day won't certainly be over for I still
have something left to do.
I just couldn't sleep without saying
Good night! :)
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #14

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Juan: Bute hindi ako nalasing kagabi.

Pedro: ahh.. Kya pla nsa pool k at hinahanap m c NEMO! Tinatanong m p gf m kung single sya! Tapos tnatawagan m sarili at nagalit k nung d m mcontact, ibinato m p PUSA q at sumigaw k ng
-
-
-

" GO PIKACHU!"

Di k nga lasing!.... :)))
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #13

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Walito: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni Daddy!
Toto: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?
Walito: Hindi! 'Yan din ang pangarap n'ya?
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Usapan ng dalwang mayabang...
Wilo: Ang galing ng aso ko! Tuwing umaga, dala n'ya ang dyaryo sa akin!
Dego: Alam ko.
Wilo: Ha? Paano mo nalaman?
Dego: Ikinukuwento sa akin ng aso ko.
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Usapan ng dalawang bata...
Ronron: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo 'yung Pacific Ocean,
s'ya ang humukay nun!
Zoneo: Wala yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo 'yung Dead Sea?
Ronron: Oo...
Zoneo: Siya ang pumatay no'n!!
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Advantage at disadvantage ng may-asawa...
ADVANTAGE: Kapag kailangan mo, nandiyan kaagad.
DISADVANTAGE: Kapag ayaw mo na, nandiyan pa rin!
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #12

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"Karamihan sa mga babae ngayon,
hindi kasing husay magluto ng Nanay nila.
Pero kasing lakas uminom ng tatay nila!" :))
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sweet holding hands...
cute stolen kisses...
warm and caring hugs...
super sweet messages..
Tapos ano??
FRIENDS lang kayo?!
Ano to MANYAKAN??!
LOL

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GF: Alam mo may bagong unlimited.
BF: Talaga? Ano yon?
GF: Unlimited ka sa puso ko. :)
BF: Ang sweet naman..
GF: Oo nman... Bukas expired ka na!

Hahaha!

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pag sinabihan ka ng "I LAB YUH"
'wag agad kiligin...
TANDAAN..
wrong spelling is wrong.
:)
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Tagalog Love Quotes #10

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Dumarating sa punto na gulo isip mo,
Na hindi mo alam kung pano mo gagawin ang isang bagay,
Na pano ka magdedesisyon,
Kung tama ba o mali ang magiging desisyon mong pipiliin.
Pero isa lang ang maaring gawin,
kapain mo puso mo,dun mo mahahanap ang tamang kasagutan.
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FACT :

.
.
.

Kapag Ang Isang Tao Ay Nananatili Pa Din Sayo
Kahit Na Sinasaktan Mo Siya,
Hindi Yun Pagiging Tanga.
Binibigyan Ka Lang Niya Ng Pagkakataon
Na Malaman Kung Anong Meron Sa Kanya,
Na Tiyak Hindi Mo Makikita Sa Iba
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"Ang TETRIS Ay Parang Taong Nabubuhay,
Kelangan Mong Lumugar Kung Saan Ka Dapat Nababagay."
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Tagalog Love Quotes #09

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Kapag ang tao, nagsabi ng promise,
asahan mong ang kasunod n'yan...
I'M SORRY. :(
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Ang buhay, parang SHOWBIZ, kahit ayaw mo...
ikaw ang mabibiktima ng taong puro MALISYA.
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Nakakatakot ang multo di ba?
Pero mas nakakatakot kung mawawala ka...
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English Love Quotes #04

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The happiest relationship are between two people

who never have the same characters...

But have the best understanding of their differences.

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The one who apologize is the bravest, the one who forgives

is the strongest, and the one who forget is the happiest!

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Goodbyes are not the one that hurts,

but the flashbacks that follows.

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Sad Love Quotes #05

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"Be who you want to be, not what others want to see" -Unknown
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letting go of someone you really love is so hard....
but letting him go is better than making him stay
knowing he doesn't love you anymore....
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letting go means that u are strong enough to face
the truth that nothing is permanent..
but letting go makes u the weakest person on earth..
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Goodbyes aren't the one that hurts,But the Flashbacks that follows.
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Don't get my personality and my attitude twisted,
because my personality is me, and my attitude depends on you.
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"Never play with the feelings of others
because you may win the game but the risk is that
you will surely lose the person for life time"
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People say when love comes knocking at your door let it in,
but sometimes love comes through the backdoor
and by the time you realize it’s there it’s on it’s way out.
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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #12

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Bakit ka mag-aalalang SINGLE ka,

kung lahat ng TAKEN, pinapantasya ka!?

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Imagine the zombies are looking for brains....

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Tapos, nilagpasan ka..

Ano yun? Bastusan? hehehe

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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #11

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Ang PAG-IBIG ay parang pera, 'pag hindi totoo,

hindi tinatanggap!

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Hindi ko na kailangan ng alak...

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Kasi, sa'yo pa lang, malakas na tama ko!

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'Wag kang magalit sa BF/GF mo kung may nag-text sa kanya

ng I LOVE YOU. Magalit ka kung may nag-text sa kanya ng

I LOVE YOU TOO... nyahahaha! :)

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Saktan mo na lahat ng parte ng katawan ko, 

wag lang ang puso ko. :)

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Tagalog Banat Jokes Quotes and Stories #10

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Kung ayaw mo makalimutan ka ng isang tao,
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Utangan mo! XD
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Hindi sa porma at ayos ng buhok guma-gwapo ang isang lalaki,
kundi sa pagtrato nya ng tama sa isang babae. :)
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